: 14, 2026 2:58 pm : [Hot] Dating someone 18 years older 2026
Hello, visitor!
Article:
In 2022
a then-20-year-old Billie Eilish caused a stir when she began dating Jesse Rutherford
a musician 10 years her senior. Is a five-year age gap in a relationship a little untoward? What about a three-year gap?
On social media
Gen Zers ― at least those who are chronically online ― are constantly debating the ethics of age gaps. Even if some relationships are perfectly legal
that doesn’t necessarily make them ethical
many say. It’s little wonder then that age-disparate relationships are cause for so much conversation: Having grown up alongside the #MeToo movement
Generation Z is well versed in unbalanced power dynamics and the language of consent. And lately
there’s been plenty of celebrity pairings to interrogate. Advertisement. There’s the obviously icky examples
like the recent
short-lived romance between Aoki Lee Simmons — Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons’ 21-year-old daughter — and restaurateur Vittorio Assaf
65. Earlier this month
viral photos showed the pair flouncing around on vacation in St. Barts. Yes
they’re both consenting adults
but it was still unseemly
critics said. If anything
the argument that they’re both of age is “something groomers cling to
” as one young woman on Threads put it. “Adulthood was meant to signify voting/draft age
” she wrote. “But everyone knows your prefrontal cortex is not fully formed at this age.” (This difference between so-called brain age and chronological age ― you might be 21 but your brain is undeveloped! ― often gets brought up in these kinds of conversations.) Advertisement. “To some in Gen Z
age-gap relationships read as being inherently exploitative.” - Justin Lehmiller
a research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute and host of the "Sex and Psychology Podcast." There are gender-swapped examples too
like actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson and filmmaker Sam Taylor-Johnson
a now-married couple who met while working on a 2009 John Lennon biopic called “Nowhere Boy.” At the time
he was in his late teens and she was a mother of two in her early 40s. “I didn’t relate to anyone my age
” the actor told The Telegraph in 2019
reflecting on when they first met. “I just feel that we’re on the same wavelength.” Advertisement. Some fans aren’t convinced. “We def aren’t talking about male grooming victims enough and this is literally proof
” one person wrote in a highly shared TikTok video about their coupling. Then there’s the less expected critiques: Is four years too much of an age gap? “At 25
I wouldn’t even date a 21 year old
” reads one tweet with around 80
000 likes. What about 10 years? Fans of Billie Eilish were up in arms in 2022 when the then-20-year-old singer revealed that she was dating fellow musician Jesse Rutherford
who was in his early 30s. One viral tweet about the 10-year age gap reads: “jesse rutherford was alive during george h w bush’s presidency . billie eilish cannot legally drink.” Advertisement. Long-established relationships aren’t safe
either. Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively’s 11-year gap has been scrutinized. And recently
Beyhive members have begun debating whether Beyoncé was “groomed” because she was 19 when she started dating Jay-Z
who was in his early 30s. Noncelebrity couples are getting called out
too. “I was 19. My now husband was 27. My now 13yo child calls him my ‘predator
’” one woman wrote on Threads alongside laughing emoji
probably only half-joking. Why Gen Z Seems To Have Such An Aversion To Age Gaps. Is Gen Z just more prudish on this subject than prior generations? Not necessarily
said Justin Lehmiller
a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and the host of the “Sex and Psychology Podcast.” He’s been studying age-gap relationships for roughly 20 years and said the stigma around age-disparate relationships is long-standing. Advertisement. In 2008 ― when terms like “cradle robber” and “cougar” were bandied around a lot more than they are now ― Lehmiller co-authored a study that found age-discrepant couples reported experiencing significantly more social disapproval than people in gay or interracial couples. Westend61 via Getty Images. A 2008 study found that age-discrepant couples reported experiencing significantly more social disapproval than even gay and interracial couples. So the discomfort around these types of relationships isn’t anything new. What is new
according to Lehmiller
is how comfortable Gen Z feels about publicly and vocally disapproving of these relationships ― even on people’s personal Instagram pages. (Aaron and Sam Taylor-Johnson recently spoke out against the “bizarre” online judgment they’ve received. Eilish and Rutherford brushed off the criticism from overly concerned fans by dressing up as a baby and an old man one Halloween.) Advertisement. “To some in Gen Z
age-gap relationships read as being inherently exploitative because they perceive age discrepancies as necessarily creating a power imbalance that favors the older partner
” Lehmiller told HuffPost. What’s also changed is which parties tend to receive the brunt of the judgment. In the past
people were often scornful of both the younger and older partners in these relationships. Historically
the younger partners
especially when they were women
endured labels like “gold digger” ― with the implication that they were the ones doing the exploiting. That terminology doesn’t always fly with Gen Z. “That perception seems to have largely disappeared when you look at what Gen Z is saying
” Lehmiller noted. “They seem to cast the younger partners as victims who are being preyed upon or ‘groomed.’” Advertisement. Gigi Engle
a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert for dating app 3Fun
worries that the term “grooming” is being overapplied and losing its meaning. “The narrative is really toxic here and in many other cases
” she told HuffPost. “Trans people are groomers
gay people are groomers
older people dating younger people are groomers ― and this just isn’t accurate. It’s a really fear-mongering time we live in.” Gen Z may be hyperfocused on this because of their age: If you’re a 35-year-old woman
you’re probably less hung up on the idea of a 50-year-old guy expressing interest in you. Advertisement. “I think younger people may be more susceptible to manipulation and are therefore more afraid of it
” Engle said. “The reality is
age-gap relationships have been happening since humans have existed
and it is absolutely not some one-size-fits-all. In the vast majority of relationships like this
nothing untoward is happening.” Here’s What Gen Z Has To Say About Age Gaps. Talking to actual Gen Zers
you’ll find that their opinions on age gaps run the gamut. As with most things
their takes on the subject are much more nuanced than those found on X
the platform previously known as Twitter
would have you believe. That said
many are genuinely bothered by age gaps.
::
FAQ
