I only like older men

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Article about i only like older men:
I enjoy speaking with people who have interesting perspectives on romance. So when I came across Meg* (22) who loves older men
we had an interesting conversation about gerontophilia
the challenge with dating older men in Nigeria and what her ideal man looks like. As told to Betty: I can’t pinpoint the exact reason I’m attracted to older men.

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I think it may have a bit to do with how I got into being with men in the first place. I didn’t enjoy my first experience with a man. I was taken advantage of at 14 by a 24-year-old
and I hate that my first experiences were warped by him. It happened again at 15
this time by a 30-year-old. Since then
I’ve reclaimed myself and my desires
and I’ve remained drawn to older men. The youngest person I’ve ever been with was a year older than I was — 19 when I was 18 — but since we split up
I won’t even consider a man if he’s younger than 35. Not that the experience was awful
I just find older men more attractive and more suitable for the kind of lifestyle I want for myself. Also
younger men these days always seem to have no ideas or beliefs of their own. They parrot ideologies from male influencers they can’t even explain properly
and it’s very unattractive. I like a man who has his own principles and can defend them
older men usually have that. [/ad] That being said
just because I like older men doesn’t mean dating has been easier. There are clowns at every age
and getting older doesn’t mean a man will magically let go of his foolishness. I haven’t seriously dated anyone since I was 18 because the playing field is rife with dishonest men. For context
I don’t date married men
but some of these men would rather eat their right leg than admit they’re married. Now
I’ve developed a good eye for spotting a married man masquerading as an older single dude
and I avoid them. I’m very strict that way. The most exciting person I’ve ever been with was a man named Deji*(3. When we first met last year on a train ride
I didn’t believe he was his age because he looked and acted so young. He had to prove it to me with his official ID. We hit it off immediately
and I would have liked for us to get into something serious and long-lasting
but we lived in different cities and had different ideologies. For example
I like to have fun
but I don’t drink or do other drugs. Deji*
on the other hand
loved to partake. He kept trying to pressure me into doing them with him
which I didn’t like at all. Ultimately
we stopped seeing each other
but we’re still cordial. READ ALSO: 5 Nigerians On Why They Ended Affairs with Married People A big misconception people have about me being into older men is that they think I’m chasing a wealthy lifestyle or I’m looking for a sugar daddy
which couldn’t be further from the truth. I love kids
but I want to be child-free
and a much older person is probably not looking to have kids which is compatible with the life I want to build for myself. Also
money isn’t everything. Trust me
I know — I’m very well off. I don’t particularly care for a wealthy man if he’ll be as dishonest as any of the men I’ve met so far. I want to be with a kind man who is ideally in his 40s and wants to live a child-free life. This doesn’t mean I like broke men
please. In 2023
I got with a 50-year-old who didn’t have a lot of money
and I basically bankrolled him at some point. I’m sure he thought he had found a cash cow
but I cut him off with a quickness. Now
if you approach me
please
have your own money. You don’t need to be Bill Gates
but I don’t want to bankroll anybody that isn’t my younger sibling
abeg. Zikoko readers are currently giving feedback about us this year. Join your voice to theirs by taking this 10-minute survey. The biggest challenge I face when dating older people is that they don’t have the time for me
and it stresses me out. Last year
I had to cut off a 56-year-old whose company I really enjoyed because he would ghost me for days at a time and come back to apologise. It got tiring really quickly. I also face a lot of criticism because of my preference. I tried to tell a friend about it once
and I had to shut down the conversation because she started telling me my standards were too high and it would be impossible to find a man like that. I wish people would stop projecting their fears of age-gap relationships on my personal tastes. I don’t see myself changing my mind about this
it’s just who I am
but I would like the judgement around it to be reduced. If you enjoyed reading this you’ll also enjoy: I Hit My Mum When I Was 15. We Never Recovered. Get More Zikoko Goodness in Your Mail. Subscribe to our newsletters and never miss any of the action.













i only like older men