Article about texting an older man:
Here Are Mistakes To Avoid. | HuffPost Life";"Younger people may think the text “OK” (or worse
“K”) is a sign you’re angry with them
for example.";"Do You Text Your Grandkids? Read This Before Accidentally Making A Big Mistake.
Younger people may think the text “OK” (or worse
“K”) is a sign you’re angry with them
for example. On Assignment For HuffPost. Mar 13
2023
05:45 AM EDT. LEAVE A COMMENT. MoMo Productions via Getty Images. My friends and I all know the unspoken rule of texting: Every message needs an exclamation point
emoji or other indicator you’re not mad. Also
“okay!” needs to be typed as “okay!” — not “OK” or “okay” or
worst of all
“k.” (If you’re going to type it like that
just say you hate me!) After all
a lot can be left unsaid with just a few letters
such as texting “LOL” in an unfunny situation . This understanding isn’t just among my circle
either: According to an internet linguist
replying “OK” (especially in a work chat setting) can feel aggressive . Advertisement. But I realized not everyone knows this unspoken rule. While it’s common for people in my generational range — I consider myself a “zilliennial
” born between millennials and Gen Z — many older folks don’t always know how worrisome a “K” text makes us feel. So let’s talk about it. Why is there a generational divide with texting? Where did it come from
and how can we communicate with loved ones in a more clear way? While the explanations won’t go for every person — I have family members who text as if they’re generations younger than they are
for example — therapists share the psychology behind this phenomenon. Younger generations typically need extra conversational signals. We can’t ask this question without asking another one: Where do we learn these social norms
the ones that differ by generation
to some extent? Several factors can be at play. “If we’re looking at where we learn the social norms of texting
that is probably heavily influenced by our peers and media
which we know
when we’re young
tends to heavily influence us
” said Nicholette Leanza
a therapist with LifeStance Health . Advertisement. Maureen Coyle
an associate psychology professor at Widener University who researches and specializes in social media communication
also pointed to the fact that younger generations are more apt to text. “Because texting is a more default mode of communication for younger generations
younger generations have created much more nuanced norms about it than older generations
” she said. But what are the messages we receive from those norms
and how do they differ by generation? Younger people tend to think a short message means someone is ‘being short’ with them. Signals of how you feel — an emoji
longer message
etc. — can feel like a safety blanket. “I think it’s for emotional assurance
” Leanza said. “Research has shown that Gen Z is the most anxious generation … so they may look at every detail of a text to interpret its meaning. If a text seems too short or clipped without an ‘LOL
’ they may interpret that as the sender being angry or upset with them because
generally
when we speak our words when we’re angry
we tend to be clipped with them as well.” To some degree
it’s misconstruing effort with intention. “For example
sending a ‘k’ text requires the smallest amount of effort … and can be perceived by the receiver as ‘I must not be worth the effort of a longer message to them
so they must be upset with me
’” Coyle explained. They may also assume the sender doesn’t want to talk anymore
she added. Advertisement. And that’s an understandable and valid concern. You may have noticed this when you felt angry and wanted to get a message across without any fluff
avoiding extraneous punctuation or images. “Come to think of it
people typically don’t use such symbols when they are angry
” said Linda Whiteside
a lead clinical counselor at NuView Treatment Center in Los Angeles . “It is easier to infer that a particular message with exclamation points
emojis and other expressions is meant to convey a positive message.” Texts also lack other conversational signals. “Text messages can be convenient
but it’s important to remember that texting lacks significant components of communication
such as the pitch
tone and volume of a person’s voice during conversation
” said Marisha Mathis
a licensed clinical social worker with Thriveworks in Raleigh
North Carolina
who specializes in parenting
depression
anger and coping skills. “The absence can leave a lot for interpretation.” Advertisement. Younger generations default to texting for everything
while older generations have different norms. Younger people are typically the ones more used to texting than calling or other forms of communication. They may feel more open to texting longer messages
too
as well as having deeper conversations that way. Communicating by text is often easier for them. “My younger patients have shared with me that they use symbols in their text messages as a way to express their emotions in a method that’s more comfy or familiar than using words
” Whiteside said. Older people
on the other hand
are used to different norms when communicating. “The older generations will also lean toward using more formal language and proper grammar
like when writing a letter
” Leanza added. Advertisement. People in Generation X or before usually text with a different purpose and mindset. “It’s more functional
for example
to confirm plans
than conversational
” Mathis said.
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